Showing posts with label Michele Bachmann. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michele Bachmann. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Let the cannibalism begin: The Republican/Tea Party Debate!

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor


Images from Wikipedia Commons. These images are licensed


Governor Rick Perry, between dashing back and forth between the campaign trail and Texas as fires rage across the state (and asking for aid from President Obama, even though Perry recently said he believes the federal government should only be responsible for highways and defense) is being nudged by both his staff and backers to come across as more presidential.  In short, they feel he needs to be a little less shit-kickin' and a little more politic in his unscripted moments.  He needs to defend his exaggerated Texas "accomplishments,"  and consolidate his sudden rise and growing base—while building on his fast start by bringing voters into the tent from all across the Republican party, from the Tea Party and fundamentalist Christians to the old line party hacks and wardheelers.



 
Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota is desperate to combat the growing feeling that the GOP race has contracted into a two-man race between Romney and Perry.  She is on the precipice of becoming irrelevant and needs to inflict serious damage to Rick Perry to convince the far-right and tea-party to stick by her.  Her strategy of non-stop attacks on BHO isn't going to win many votes.  She now needs to go after her opponents.  Likewise, both Romney an Perry need to back off their attacks on Obama, because their real enemies are in their own party (at least for now).

Ex-Governor Mitt Romney needs to--and, more or less has--drop the front-runner B.S. and get ready for serious combat with his fellow Republicans.  Neither his rope-a-dope strategy nor his above the fray stance is working anymore.  We know Mitt is in it for the long-distance fight.  But, in the meantime, he needs to eviscerate Governor Perry by savagely attacking him on his record on immigration, and his much exaggerated claim that he has created thousands of jobs in Texas.
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Sunday, August 28, 2011

"Who likes white people?" - Michele Bachmann preaches to the converted; the white pride site Stormfront approves

By Jack Brummet, Tea Party Editor

It is hard to see how a speech like this (if this is what she actually said) won't immediately end Representative Michele Bachmann's twisted campaign to become President of the United States.  Not the religion; after all, every President I remember has come out in public and said with varying degrees of vehemence (and truthfulness) that not only do they believe in God, but believe Jesus Christ is their saviour. 

Interestingly enough, this video is on various blogs and websites right now, most notably on the the Stormfront.org site, the white pride/Nazi website. 



"Who likes white people?  I'm Michele Bachmann and I'm a member of Congress and I'm running for the Presidency of the United States.  I'm here to talk tonight about the Creator of the universe our lord and savior Jesus Christ.  I was born here in Iowa, I was born in Waterloo and Cedar Falls we were a church going family in Waterloo and Cedar Falls and I'm so grateful for my parents and my grandparents going back to seven generations of Iowans who were all people of faith.  I didn't have a relationship with Jesus Chris, they were right, until I was going to a prayer meeting before school at our high school."




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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Michele Bachmann politicks and tries out a corn-dog at the Iowa State Fair and Sarah Palin can't resist a photo op

By Jack Brummet, Flyover States Editor & Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

Congresswoman and declared candidate Michele Bachmann has been hanging out in Iowa.  The Queen of Rage, as Newsweek described her in the notorious "crazy eyes" cover article, was in state for the big Straw Poll, and the big GOP/Tea Party Debate last night, at which you could probably say she didn't take on a lot of water, but didn't really make any headway.  However, the rumor-mill says that Pawlenty is considering dropping out, and a disastrous showing in the notorious straw poll may just push him over the edge.

Rep. Bachmann samples a local corn dog at the Iowa
State Fair. On Twitter Mike_FTW  wrote, "Ladies.
Gentlemen. Start your Photoshop engines. "

Ex-Governor Sarah Palin made a high-profile appearance. Of course she did.  It was a high profile GOP/Tea Party week.  And she has been out of the news cycles for two or three weeks.  She told reporters on at the fair on Friday that she had watched the debate on Thursday night and saw nothing that made her think that the Republican field was closed to late entrants.  We agree with her on that point, anyhow.  There's room, because there is maybe one marginally viable candidate. 

We say butt out, Democrats.  Quit rending your garments over Bachmann, Perry, Gingrich and the others.  Let them nominate their Goldwater, say a Rick Perry or Michele Bachmann.  In our own house, we need to decide who our own candidate will be.  At his break-neck fund-raising pace, it seems highly unlikely that BHO will pull an LBJ. But you just never know.

USA Today's web site reports "Sarah Plain caused a media and fan frenzy as they swarmed her from the minute she and her entourage stepped onto the fairgrounds."  She may be coy about whether she will run or not, but she can't resist a media opportunity.




"There is still plenty of room," said Sarah Palin, as she was mobbed by the press. “There is still plenty of room for a common sense conservative,” she said,  once again stirring up speculation that she might after all enter the 2012 fray. 
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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Huck pulls out::::Ron Paul leaps in with a sure-fire way to energize the rights and tea-party--legalize heroin:::::Trump stumps::::::Newt Leaps in:::::And now, all the contenders will draw a bead on Mitt

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
Illustration by Jack Brummet



Ex-Governor Mike Huckabee today pulled out of the Presidential contest.  I was surprised, although he has clearly been waffling, and his consultant Ed Rollins hinted this week that Huck was a no-go.  This is a definite game-changer.

“All the factors say go, but my heart says no and that’s the decision I have made,” he said.  Huckabee stressed the decision was not financial (many pundits have noted the vast amount of money he has made in the last couple of years on books and Fox--and he is building a very expensive home in Florida), or political.  He said his family urged him to run.  The polls showed he was a serious contender and that he could draw voters from outside the south and wingnut arm of the GOP.  He is known to really dislike fundraising, but was convinced recently that he could raise the cash for a serious run.  I'll admit, I don't agree with much--if anything--he says, but he has always seemed by far the most likable of that entire crowd. 


In the meantime, of the serious candidates, Pawlenty is in, Mitt is in, and Newt Gingrich is in.  Interestingly, Jon Ward, on the Huffington Post wrote today that "Perhaps no one will benefit more than Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) if she decides to run. She has the capability -- probably more than any other potential GOP candidate -- to unite social conservatives in Iowa in the manner Huckabee did last election."  God forbid!

It's always fun to watch the Republicans when they are out in the cold.  They start acting like Democrats.  I suspect everyone's gunsights (to use Sarah Palin's metaphor) will be focused squarely on Mitt Romney, who sometimes at least, seems to be the only possibly electable one of the entire pathetic bunch.
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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Tea-Party/GOP Presidential Candidate Michele Bachmann channels President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

By Mona Goldwater
Tea Party Correspondent

Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann seems to have taken a page from the playbook of Idiocracy's President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.  Who knows?  It just might work.

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Thursday, March 24, 2011

End times edge closer: the Tea Party's Michele Bachmann forms "exploratory committee"

By Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor
Illustration by Jack Brummet




Representative Michele Bachmann, is currently spending a week tromping around Iowa, which will hold the first caucuses of the 2012 Presidential race.   Her team just leaked to CNN that said Bachmann will form an exploratory committee in June.  She also named an Iowa state senator-- Kent Sorenson--as her political director in the early caucus state.

She recently told ABC's Jonathan Karl that "I'm in for 2012 in that I want to be a part of the conversation in making sure that President Obama only serves one term, not two, because I want to make sure that we get someone who's going to be making the country work again. That's what I'm in for. But I haven't made a decision yet to announce, obviously, if I'm a candidate or not..."
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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia crosses yet another line, or, Has dementia finally put its death-grip on Scalia?

By Jack Brummet
Jurisprudence Editor
(Illustrations, Jack Brummet)

[Ed's note/sidebar]: I didn't get around to writing about this, but I actually felt bad for Representative Bachmann when she performed her "tea party rebuttal."   She was focused on her crappy web-cam, while the network's heavy camera were off to her side.  She ended up looking like a goofball, and never looked into the camera of the national feed.  Conan, Huffington, and many others, of course, made hay on this.  OK, I didn't feel that bad for her...]

Associate Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia recently drove up to the Capitol to lead a little seminar about the Constitution for the members of Congress, under the auspices of Tea Party caucus chair Michele Bachmann.  Justice Scalia's stint in Congresswoman Bachmann's Constitution prep school has triggered all sorts of backwash and blowback about exactly just what is the proper relationship between the Supreme Court and the rumpled wardheelers and corporate shills we call our political leaders. But as many have said, and written, the crux of the biscuit here is not about ethics, but about the twisted and warped view of the Constitution that Scalia and the Tea Party are promulgating



Jonathan Turley wrote in the Washington Post this weekend, that while Supreme Court Justices across the ideological spectrum have taken on increasingly prominent public roles, Scalia has become a "celebrity justice" by throwing in with the pinheads of the Tea Party and the far right bleeding edge of the GOP.

I don't have anything against God, or The Bible.  Quite the contrary.  And while neither of them are actually mentioned in The Constitution, you wouldn't know that from listening to either the Tea Party or Justice Scalia. 


While both Scalia and the TP talk about strictly interpreting the constitution, the Tea Party has more than once floated the idea of repealing the 16th Amendment (re: federal income taxation), the 17th Amendment (re: direct popular election of U.S. Senators), and even parts of the 14th Amendment.  And yeah, a couple of other amendments too.  Sooner or later, they will also get around to chucking the first amendment. 

These Scalia-Bachmann Con Law classes are not an introduction to the Constitution as much as a blueprint for reinterpreting the Constitution. My fellow editor, Pablo Fanque, called it "tweaking and editing the constitution to bring it into closer conformance with Mein Kampf."

Scalia has often said that the equal protection clause (e.g., the 14th amendment), originally meant to ensure black Americans the full rights of citizenship, was never intended to ensure equal rights for women or gay people.   But then, according to the Huffington Post, "he departed completely from the original intent of the amendment, using it as a justification for halting the 2000 recount in Florida and handing the presidency to George W. Bush."

And needless to say, both Scalia, and his lapdog Clarence Thomas, have hinted that they are more than willing to consider overturning the health care reform law. As always, they believe the rights of corporations supersede those of individual citizens--a bizarre reading of our founders' intent, and quite possibly, the opening volley in what may come to be known as the American Revolution II.
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Friday, January 14, 2011

Michele Bachmann for President! (for people who find Palin too cerebral)

By Pablo Fanque,
National Affairs Editor


Hold onto your mukluks Ex-Governor Palin -- your old Mama Grizzly buddy-roo and fellow Tea-Partier Michele Bachmann has set her sights on an Oval Office run in 2012.  Or will you two tea-partiers team up or tag-team until one of you runs out of gas?


I have been trying to find out if Bachmann's announcement has caused any schism between her and Palin, or between their factions within the Tea Party itself.   So far, nothing has turned up.

Bachmann, the three-term congresswoman from Minnesota, is well-known for her doctrinaire conservatism, and her bizarre views like: "homosexuality is a dysfunction," or that President BHO is "turning America into a nation of slaves."  Rep. Bachmann makes liberals perhaps even crazier than her pal, the Ex-Governor.

Which will it be?  Or will they go head-to-head?

Bachmann, the chairwoman of the House Tea Party Caucus, is traveling to Iowa this month "to seek advice from political forces there and party elders close to the caucus process before coming to a final decision" on whether or not to make a run for the big seat.

Conservatives like Shannon Bell of Right Pundits think Bachmann would, at the very least, make for a spirited contest:  "She's unbelievable when it comes to raising money. She has impeccable conservative credentials. Liberals hate her guts. The Tea Party adores her, and she's not afraid to take on the establishment."

The often hilarious Andy Borowitz tweeted when this first came out: "Michele Bachmann would be an awesome presidential candidate for people who find Sarah Palin too brainy."

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Monday, April 12, 2010

Greatest hits of Representative Michele Bachmann

By Pablo Fanque
All This Is That National Affairs Editor

Now that she has partnered up with Ex-Governor Palin, Rep. Bachmann's stock seems to be rising.  Palin-Bachmann bumper stickers have appeared.  People are speculating about this dream team: double trouble! 

One of the most interesting facts I've recently learned about Michele is that she and her husband own a mental health practice employing 42 people in Sillwater, Minnesota.  Judging from some of her public pronouncements, it's probably a safe bet that she's not eating into the profits by over-using their services. . .


It seems like a good time to roll out some of our favorite Bachmann quotes from the last few years...


“one L, two Ns” - MB on how to spell her name correctly

"Little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and perhaps they should try it."  - Interview with Jan Markell, Olive Tree Ministries.

“And what a bizarre time we’re in, Jan, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.” — Senator Michele Bachmann, appearing as guest on radio program “Prophetic Views Behind The News”, hosted by Jan Markell, KKMS 980-AM, March 6, 2004.


"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level." —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, Jobs, Energy and Community Development Committee, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage and advocating the elimination of the minimum wage


“It’s part of Satan I think to say that this is “gay.” It’s anything but gay.” — Senator Michele Bachmann, speaking at EdWatch National Education Conference, November 6, 2004.



“If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement.” — Senator Michele Bachmann, speaking at EdWatch National Education Conference, November 6, 2004.





"The marriage initiative is 'not a Republican-Democrat issue'."
--Senator Michele Bachmann, Star Tribune, November 10, 2005



"Democrats need to fear losing their seat."
--Senator Michele Bachmann, Pioneer Press, November 11, 2005



"I had high heels on and I just couldn't stand anymore. I was not in the bushes."
--Sen Michele Bachmann, Strib, April 13, 2005



"He kissed me in Minnesota, too" - Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Strib January 24, 2007



"Help!!!! HEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!! I was being held against my will!"
-- Sen Michele Bachmann, Women's Restroom in Scandia, Minnesota, April 9, 2005



"This is a ticking time bomb and there is a very real threat that an Activist Judge Strike down DOMA this year"  -- Sen Michele Bachmann, Interview with Jan Markell, Olive Tree Ministries.



"I never wanted to amend the constitution."
-- Sen Michele Bachmann, Calling in to Tom Barnard, May 12, 2005.



"Is there no longer freedom of speech in this chamber, Mr. President?....Mr. President...MR. PRESIDENT?....You can turn my microphone off now." - Michele Bachmann, May 16, 2004, Last day of 2004 Session.



"Many teenagers that come in should be paying the employer because of broken dishes or whatever occurs during that period of time. But you know what? After six months, that teenager is going to be a fabulous employee and is going to go on a trajectory where he's going to be making so much money, we'll be borrowing money from him." —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, explaining why teenagers should pay employers for the privilege of working instead of receiving minimum wage.



"If we allow businesses to be prosperous and accrue capital, they’ll be giving their employees more than they can even begin to imagine. But when we continue to tie cement blocks on businesses (like the minimum wage) and constrain them, they can actually do less than their employees."
—Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage and explaining why it actually keeps wages and benefits lower.



"I was wondering, if most employers are already doing this anyway, isn’t minimum wage really just superfluous? Why do we even have one?" —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, Jobs, Energy and Community Development Committee, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage, and advocating the elimination of the minimum wage altogether.



"If raising the minimum wage to $7.00 an hour is a good idea, that why dont we just raise it to $20.00 an hour, that must be even better." —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, Jobs, Energy and Community Development Committee, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage.



"I look at the Scripture and I read it and I take it for what it is. I give more credence in the Scripture as being kind of a timeless word of God to mankind, and I take it for what it is. And I don't think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge, and wisdom and understanding. So, I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I'm not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I'm not a scientist." - Michele Bachmann interviewing with Todd Fiel at KKMS as quoted in the Stillwater Gazette, September 29, 2003.



"Something that I think sometimes people don’t like to hear is that secular people can be sometimes even more dogmatic in beliefs than people who are not secular. ... In some ways, to believe in evolution is almost like a following; a cult following — if you don’t believe in evolution, you’re considered completely backward. That seems to me very indicative of bias as well." - Michele Bachmann quoted in the Stillwater Gazette, September 29, 2003.



"No one that I know disagrees with natural selection — that you can take various breeds of dogs ... breed them, you get different kinds of dogs," she said. "It's just a fact of life. ... Where there's controversy is (at the question) 'Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat, which became a donkey, which became a human being?' There’s a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That's where it's difficult to prove." - Michele Bachmann quoted in the Stillwater Gazette, September 29, 2003.
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Thursday, April 08, 2010

The Palin-Bachmann Juggernaut Picks Up Steam


click images to enlarge

By Pablo Fanque
All This Is That National Affairs Editor

People rarely agree (except Mona Goldwater) when I say that Ex-Governor Palin is a force to be reckoned with in 2012, either as a candidate, or as king-maker. Note: it's not like I WANT this to happen. Their logic is usually something like "The American people are no way that dumb," or "It can't happen here." But what happens when you put the two tea-party poster gals together into one rolling, perhaps unstoppable juggernaut? We have proved at least twice in the last decade that intelligence is not one of the job requirements for the Presidency. But then, again, perhaps there are limits to that theory and the voting public does have some sort of floor on the qualifications of POTUS?




Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann--the two Tea party favorites--rallied together
recently in Minnesota. "I knew that we'd be buddies when I met her when she
said, 'Drill here, drill now,'" Palin said. "And then I replied, 'Drill baby drill,'
and then we both said, 'You betcha!'"




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